In our vast Christian entertainment viewing experience, we sometimes come upon films that we can hardly justify writing a full review for. Therefore, for your convenience, so you don’t have to go watch those free films that invade your suggested watch list in on-demand video services, we’ve provided a quick overview here. Someday we might post more, if we’re fortunate enough to find more.
The Young Believers
If you want to see the cheapest church skit ever, view this gem. Starring less than fifteen cast members, a majority of the scenes consist of the four main characters awkwardly standing in front of a wall or a fence. They spit out preprogrammed lines that demonstrate an isolationist Christian view of the world, as well as the world record for the usage of the word ‘dude’. There are more production errors that can be counted and the acting is just horrific. With no real plot to speak of, we decided that it didn’t warrant a full review.
Borderline Christian films are the worst. Are they trying to be Christian or are they trying to make fun of it? Who knows. Regardless, this film depicts one of the most bizarre versions of Christianity we have ever seen, complete with magic blankets. Characters scream at each other in the most annoying ways and you really never know what’s coming next. The plot is based on such weird pretzel logic regarding child custody that we don’t even know who to believe on this one. Anyways, just steer clear.
On Angel’s Wings
This one escaped from the Disney channel for sure. Featuring a teenage girl with first world problems conversing with the reincarnation of Peter Pan (yes, there is an actual flying scene in this film), this one is a real drug trip doozy sprinkled with Christian themes. Replete with music videos to the tune of free background music, this film is obviously disingenuous and one big joke, boasting one of the most half-hearted casts ever. Only watch this one if you feel like a laugh.
These three films really take the cake for Worst Christian Movies ever. Not only that, but these pitiful films actually make propaganda information dump movies like Saving Christmas look good. The Young Believers has to be the worst out of these three choices, not only is it pathetically boring, it also wins the award for being so bad that we can’t even experience the pleasure of laughing at it. As for Raising Izzie, I don’t even know what to say about that, viewers beware. Personally I found On Angel’s Wings to be hilarious, not in a good way. The dialogue is so cliche and the characters so cardboard that it is a waste of your time. Basically these three films are what you watch on a sick day when you’re slightly deranged and REALLY bored.
Shhh! The Saving Christmas review isn’t out yet 😛
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