The Printing [1990] (Movie Review)

Plot Summary

When the Communists and the KGB had a vice grip on Russia, they did everything they could do to stamp out any form of Christianity that did not adhere to their standards.  But no matter how hard they tried to control everything, even the churches, they could not control a secret group of underground Christians who was committed to printing the true words of a Bible on their secret printing press.  The Word of God spread regardless of government control—these historical events are depicted in this film.

 

Production Quality (1 point)

As a film from 1990, it’s clear that compared to others films in the time frame, a lot of money was put into The Printing, even though it still looks extremely archaic.  Video quality is sometimes blurry, but camera work is good.  Sets and locations are pretty good considering the limited budget.  Audio quality is inconsistent throughout, and the soundtrack is too dramatic.  However, some action scenes are actually filmed pretty well.  As usual, editing is fairly poor as the film slogs on for over two hours.  But in the end, for the early 90s, this was probably as good as it was going to get in independent film making.

Plot and Storyline Quality (.5 point)

Though it’s based on interesting historical events and intriguing ideas, The Printing is far too long, boring, and protracted to be even remotely interesting.  There are far too many wasted sequences and long, drawn-out scenes.  Dialogue is too robotic, thus making stiff and wooden characters.  The premise is somewhat realistic, yet it is overly dramatic.  In contrast to the Communist propaganda depicted, The Printing borderlines on some capitalistic propaganda of its own.  Overall, the idea behind the film has potential, but the presentation is awful.  Thus, it would be worth a remake one day.

Acting Quality (.5 point)

As their casting pool was severely limited to those associated with Bob Jones University, they were unsuccessful in casting many culturally correct actors and actresses.  Some the attempts at faking Russian accents are laughable.  Though the costuming is culturally correct, most of the performances are too theatrical and dramatic.  Emotions are not very believable.  Thus, this is a disappointing section.

Conclusion

It is commendable to make this ambitious of an independent film in the early 1990s, and one can rarely go wrong with a good historical film.  Unfortunately, the presentation of The Printing is too drab and boring to reach any audiences.  It might be interesting to history enthusiasts, but it has no wide appeal.  This film, however, is better than other disasters produced by this studio (The Treasure Map, Project Dinosaur, and Appalachian Trial), but it still doesn’t make the mark.  Perhaps someone will make a better version of this film one day.

 

Final Rating: 2 out of 10 points

 

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The Treasure Map [1999] (Movie Review)

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Plot Summary

Edward White Eyes finds himself in a problematic position when his grandfather has a sudden heart attack while driving through rural Oklahoma, thus forcing him to have to stay in a recently renovated bed and breakfast full of white homeschooled kids.  One of the kids, Nathan, doesn’t like Edward’s Cherokee (?) heritage or the fact that the bed and breakfast is so full with unknown guests that Edward must share his room.  What’s more is that the white kids discovered a treasure map written in a language only Edward can understand, and it could tell the deep secrets of the formerly dilapidated mansion.  In the end, this Bob Jones film attacks the problem of racism against Native Americans (?) head on in a hard-hitting homeschool epic.

 

Production Quality (-3 points)

We are convinced that The Treasure Map was filmed on a videotape camcorder.  Of course, they likely didn’t have access to much else in 1999, but still.  This production is obviously and ridiculously cheap, with grainy video quality and horrible sound quality.  The sets and locations are passable, but everything just screams backwards homeschoolers.  As a side note, I am not discriminatory against homeschooling—I was a homeschooler through high school.  The problem with movies like this and entities like Bob Jones is that they make all homeschoolers look like white racist fundamentalist patriarchal fools.  But I digress.  Treasure Map’s musical score is perhaps the most annoying we have ever experienced, like it was ripped off of some cheesy white Christian kids music video.  There is really nothing good to say here, and we have only just begun,

Plot and Storyline Quality (-3 points)

The movie begins with every other line being narrated.  From there, the unrealistic time-lapse renovation of a ‘haunted’ mansion is displayed, complete with ridiculous homeschooling stereotypes, like kids not getting any education accomplished and matronly mothers constantly working in the kitchen and cleaning up the house.  Then comes the Native Americans, two characters who do not seem even remotely descended from tribal nations.  Edward is likely the most absurdly mumbling character ever to grace a video screen, with more than half of his lines being indiscernible.  How ridiculously obvious can a name like Edward White Eyes get?  Nathan is an immature racist until he gets ‘fixed’ and becomes a perfect character.  It seems like the entire goal of this plot is to ‘Christianize’ the ‘heathens’ and the treasure antidote is just an excuse to make a movie.  Not a single thing is really accomplished in this so-called plot except for running around looking for ‘treasure’, building teepees, doing tribal dances, dressing up in tribal stuff, going back and forth to the hospital, and attempting to deliver dialogue.  This plot is likely a window into the worldview of Bob Jones University, a very scary place indeed.

Acting Quality (-3 points)

Did we mention that the ‘Native American’ actors are actually Caucasian?  Apparently Bob Jones only employs white actors and actresses.  Besides this, this cast is the worst we have ever seen, with terrible mumbling line delivery and no believable emotions.  Those that can actually say discernable words are over the top and robotic.  Once again, another horrible section for The Treasure Map.

Conclusion

As an added bonus, Treasure Map received the first ever negative x-factor point for being especially horrible in every possible way.  It’s no coincidence that Bob Jones University named their filming arm Unusual Films, because that’s exactly what this movie is.  White backwards patriarchal Christian fundamentalism is on display for the world to see in this film, and we found it overall offensive and repulsive, besides the fact that this is just an epic-ly terrible movie, thus garnering the lowest overall score to date from Box Office Revolution.  With no potential whatsoever, The Treasure Map should have never been made and can now only serve as a textbook example of an awful Christian film.

 

Final Rating: -10 out of 10 points