3 Blind Saints (Movie Review)

Plot Summary

Sam, Jamal, and Frankie are usually up to no good as they wander around the country, hopping from one money-making scheme to another.  However, they end up stuck in a small town in the Midwest when they get on the wrong side of the local law enforcement.  When they are about to be sentenced by the local judge, the local powerful businessman steps in to save them—in exchange for their services as his puppet pastors of the local church.  All they have to do is please the congregation and collect enough money for a month, and then they can be on their way.  However, things never really work out that simply in forced comedy films.

 

Production Quality (2.5 points)

Surprisingly, 3 Blind Saints has a considerably good production, especially for a film with a digit in the title.  It checks all the right boxes, including video quality, camera work, lighting, and audio quality.  The soundtrack is as goofy as can be expected, and sets, locations, and props are mostly standard.  The editing is minorly choppy, but on the whole, this is a high quality production on paper, which garners a substantial amount of points.

Plot and Storyline Quality (-1 points)

Talk abut checking all the boxes—3 Blind Saints fulfills basically every criterion of a cheesy and predictable comedy premise that involves a collection of troubled non-Christian characters who are forced to lead a church, even though they have no idea what they are doing.  There is nothing new or creative about this idea, and this story rushes by so quickly that it seems like the writers are trolling.  The comedy therein is very forced and zany, including off-the-wall jokes, dialogue, and displays of idiocy.  As previously mentioned, the plot progression is so steep that it sometimes makes fun of itself as it hits all of the typical plot points, including a cheesy romantic subplot, an inclusion of goofy locals, and a quick turnaround of the troubled protagonists.  This goes without mentioning the generally childish feel to the film, as well as the shallow Christianity and the bizarre portrayal of God.  Some sequences come off like Mel Gibson’s acid trips, thus warranting some negative points for this section.

Acting Quality (1.5 points)

This cast seems to be in on the trolling as they act over the top and try way too hard to be funny.  There is, however, untapped potential with some of the cast members, and there are also a handful of good moments that keep this section from being useless.  However, for the most part, emotions and behaviors are overplayed and mostly annoying.

Conclusion

3 Blind Saints feels like a cheap attempt to get some attention from the Christian audience.  It can almost be passed off as a big joke, but it bears too close of a resemblance to some Christian movies that are supposed to be serious.  Whatever the creators of this film were going for, they mostly failed—perhaps on purpose.  Either way, it’s really quite pointless.

 

Final Rating: 3 out of 10 points

 

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The Freedom of Silence (Movie Review)

Plot Summary

In the year 2030, Christianity is effectively outlawed in America due to a series of controversial laws passed by Congress and rulings handed down from the Supreme Court.  Christians are forced to live in secret, but some of them risk their lives to share their faith with others.  Thus, Zach Thompson, his family, and his friends decide that they are going to take down the government by hacking into their system and broadcasting a message of truth to the entire country.  However, what price will they pay for this?

 

Production Quality (0 points)

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: if you don’t have the money to fund your big idea, please please please don’t make it until the funding is there.  There is absolutely no reason to further muddle the market with laughable Christian productions.  The Freedom of Silence is very cheap-looking, including grainy video quality and shaky camera work.  The lighting is most scenes is positively deplorable, especially the dark torture scenes.  Audio quality is also abysmal, including audible outside noises, and the generic soundtrack is often too loud.  There is also a good amount of overdubbed audio.  Sets, locations, and props are very limited in cheap—this also goes for the special effects.  Finally, the editing is quite choppy and confusing, including abrupt and awkward transitions.  For such a big idea, this production simply does not cut it.  It is too limited and short-sighted and thus completely falls flat.

Plot and Storyline Quality (.5 point)

While this futuristic concept is an interesting idea (this is the only redeeming quality of the film), it has been completely mishandled in The Freedom of Silence.  The dystopian premise is very thin and flimsy—it is not explained well and is very small scale compared to what the writers are trying to portray.  There is far too much off-screen content that the budget would not allow them to include, so this is really a big idea taken far too lightly.  The storyline is just a collection of information dump conversations, awkward dialogue, and over the top torture scenes.  The characters therein are very empty and robotic, except for the villains, which are total strawmen.  There is also far too much heavy-handed messaging and unexplainable content.  Essentially, if there weren’t an interesting idea somewhere in here, this film would have zero positive aspects.

Acting Quality (0 points)

This amateur cast has been given no help.  This is supposed to be a highly serious film, yet the acting is extremely stiff and awkward.  Lines are said far too quickly and there is too much yelling.  Emotions are very wooden and unrealistic.  Unfortunately, there is nothing good to say here.

Conclusion

We desperately need different genres and premises in Christian film, but this is most certainly not the way.  The cover of this film looks way better than the actual movie does.  Imagine an excited Christian’s disappointment when they begin watching this film based on what the outside looks like.  Viewers will either have to laugh or cry at this mess, so it should serve as a reminder to future film makers that if the budget is not there, do not make the film.

 

Final Rating: .5 out of 10 points