Maggie’s Passage (Movie Review)

Plot Summary

Maggie hates the life she lives on the streets under the control of a pimp and other men who constantly use her for their own gain.  She wants to escape, but she sees no way out, until she discovers a Bible and learns what God really thinks about her.  As she flees her captors, she finds herself alone and on the streets again with no one to turn to.  Then she meets a woman who takes her under her wing and shows her the love of Christ.  Maggie must fully surrender to God and trust people again in order to find healing.

 

Production Quality (1 point)

Though it seems like the creative meant well in making this film, there are quite a few production errors.  Video quality and camera work are fine, but there are too many instances of poor lighting.  Outside sounds are sometimes too loud, as is the soundtrack, while other scenes are too dead and lack sound or expression.  Sets and locations are very cheap and limited.  There is not really any editing to speak of since there is really enough content to require editing.  While this is a commendable effort, the production of Maggie’s Passage is too underfunded.

Plot and Storyline Quality (.5 point)

This film depicts several unfortunately realistic circumstances and is thus thought-provoking.  However, it is sometimes hard to follow what is happening as there are a lot of empty sequences and vague narration that fill time.  It seems like this idea is not taken to its fullest potential as the backstory of the characters is started but not finished.  Unfortunately, it is difficult to connect with the characters because their development is unfinished.  Even though there is a lot of talking, there is not enough meaningful dialogue.  The plot relies on one too many coincidences and overall lacks focus and driving purpose.  There is hardly enough content to sustain this story into a feature length film.  Thus, more subplots, flashbacks, and complexities are needed.  In the end, it really does seem like the writers meant well—they just needed a little more direction to make this story all that it could be.

Acting Quality (1.5 points)

While there is some good in this cast and it seems like they mean well, they are sometimes too flat.  Emotions are sometimes too extreme and there is sometimes too much yelling.  But there are plenty of good moments, thus making their performances overall average.

Conclusion

Overall, it is clear that the creators of this film meant well and that it intends to share an important message.  The biggest problem is that Maggie’s Passage is it is mostly an unfinished idea, even though it has a lot of potential that is untapped.  The production is too underfunded to be effective and the acting is not coached enough.  It’s a shame that this film falls short of what it could have been.  It really deserves a remake because the ideas behind it are worth sharing.  Perhaps one day the ideas will be used again in a better way.

 

Final Rating: 3 out of 10 points

 

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Bells of Innocence (Movie Review)

Plot Summary

When their small plane crashes in a weird little town that appears to be controlled by a Satanic cult, three men try everything they can think of to escape the madness as their townspeople, especially their creepy children.  But they find themselves taken captive by them and saved only by a mysterious man who appears to have power over the evil in the town.  He tells them that he has brought them to the town for a purpose—to drive out the evil and save the children.  Will the men be able to dig deep and find faith in the midst of evil?

 

Production Quality (1.5 points)

As some production elements are fine while others are definitely not, Bells of Innocence is mostly an average production.  Video quality, camera work, and audio quality are fine, even though there are some overused and cheesy sound effects.  The soundtrack is average.  Sets, locations, and props are pedestrian.  There are too many montages and choppy sequences designed to waste time, but by far the worst production element is the use of very stupid and cheap-looking special effects that are supposed to be ‘horror-themed’.  They put a huge drag on the movie and make it seem like a joke.  In short, it feels like this film was just slapped together for the sake of having a horror plot featuring Chuck Norris.

Plot and Storyline Quality (0 points)

As we have mentioned before, horror is extremely difficult to pull off properly.  It must be done with the right motives and must never be taken lightly.  Bells of Innocence appears to be taking the issue lightly with this very bizarre idea that has a fixation on creepy children.  The premise is extremely juvenile and eye-roll-inducing.  As the writers try very hard to make this a ‘scary’ horror plot, it only comes off as desperate, wacky, and outright ridiculous.  The characters are completely empty and the villains are beyond cheesy.  Dialogue only serves the purpose of dumping information on the audience.  There are too many leaps in logic and time jumps for there to be any shred of sense or understanding of what is happening.  If you were wondering, this is another failed horror effort.

Acting Quality (0 points)

Who knew that there was a movie cast that included David A. R. White, Carey Scott, and Chuck Norris all in one package?  This collection of jokers is simply too much, considering the already absurd horror elements present.  Everything they do is overly dramatic and cardboard, like usual.  There are some other cast members too, but they are mostly irrelevant, like this movie is now.

Conclusion

The White\Scott\Norris collaboration has collectively and independently tried a little bit of everything to sell Christian movies just for the sake of being called Christian.  They dabbled into all kinds of different genres to cover the Christian entertainment market with their products.  It matters little at this point what their actual return was, because the legacy they left in their profit-seeking wake was a laughingstock and a blight on Christian film.  Hopefully, as new film makers are succeeding in the market, we can move past this unfortunate era of movies that produced garbage like Bells of Innocence.

 

Final Rating: 1.5 out of 10 points

 

Birdie and Bogey (Movie Review)

EVERYBODY’S HAPPY!!!!!!!!

Plot Summary

Pro-golfer Danny O’Connor loves his daughter Birdie, which is why he makes the unorthodox decision to make her his caddy in a tournament.  She begins to have a positive effect on his game, and he inches closer to his dream of playing on the PGA tour.  However, their dreams are tested when a disease threatens their relationship and puts their faith to the test.  Will they be able to withstand the trials before them?

 

Production Quality (0 points)

It is very confusing as to why this film was ever produced, because despite the big names behind it, the quality is quite low.  Video quality is grainy, especially in bright outside scenes, and camera work is shaky.  Audio quality is medieval, including loud outside sounds and a clanky soundtrack.  Sets and locations are underwhelming.  When it comes to the editing, there are far too many sports and scenery montages.  It seems like hardly any effort was put towards this production due to its cheap quality, which begs the question, was this film a necessity to make?

Plot and Storyline Quality (0 points)

Birdie and Bogey follows the predictable storyline of a typical sports plot and is saturated with golf content that isolates most audiences.  Other than golf references and training sequences, not much really happens in this story.  The premise of the film is very thin and flimsy, and the Christian message is very plastic and shoehorned in.  What little dialogue there in in this movie is very childish, and the characters therein are so over-the-top happy and sappy it’s enough to make you sick.  The end is very predictable and anti-climactic, if you make it that far.  Basically, we are unsure of what this film’s creators were really trying to convey here, but whatever it was, it never came through in a way that made any sense.

Acting Quality (0 points)

Just like the overly sappy characters, these cast members also act as fakely Hallmark as they can.  Their performances are very juvenile and over-the-top, obviously lacking in proper coaching.  Emotions are plastic and overly enthusiastic.  Also, the makeup jobs are atrocious.  In short, this is another example that causes us to ask why.

Conclusion

There are simply too many films on the Christian market like this one that have already been forgotten by most audiences and remain forever locked in the basement of Christian film.  We’ve said this before and will unfortunately continue saying this: making a film for the sake of making a film is never a good idea.  Just because you have a little bit of funding doesn’t mean you need to use it up on a knee-jerk movie.  Take your time, think about what you’re doing.  Make sure you have a good plot and the proper equipment and a cast who can at least be coached.  It’s simply not worth it to rush things.

 

Final Rating: 0 out of 10 points