End of the Harvest (Movie Review)

Plot Summary

Matt, Scott, and Jess are college buddies just trying to work for the Lord in the oppressive world around them.  The atheists seem to have all the fun—they even have their own philosophy club (not God’s Club).  Scott decides to challenge them to a debate when he discovers a groundbreaking paper written by a former student decades before that could upend everyone’s worldview.  It tells of how the end of the world will come and though no one believes him at first, that’s about to change somehow.

 

Production Quality (.5 point)

As a late 90’s production, End of the Harvest is very underwhelming.  While camera work is okay, the video quality is very grainy and audio quality is less than inspiring, including weird sound effects.  The soundtrack is loud and annoying.  The sets are severely limited and cheap-looking.  There is also no editing present as the entire story is presented at face value, with useless panning and zooming sequences.  Essentially, with such low quality, there is little justification for this film being made, except for the fact that the Christianos needed an outlet to push their odd agenda.

Plot and Storyline Quality (0 points)

The first half of this film depicts characters sitting around talking about what’s going to happen in the second half of the film—thus, nothing much happens except for the same old rehashed conversations over and over again.  The entire movie is less than sixty minutes long, so there’s not really much of an idea at all here.  The second half of the film externalizes the bizarre worldview of the Christiano brothers that is mostly ripped off from Hal Lindsey and focuses on trying to predict the end of the world based on stupid Bible ‘codes’ and loose associations.  They pick random verses here and there to use to their advantage but then passive-aggressively say they don’t really know if that could be true or not.  Besides the fact that these stupid ‘scare people into Christianity’ arguments and absurd Biblical insinuations will convert no one, the characters are juvenile and the portrayal of atheists is embarrassing.  This is the kind of garbage that makes people (including professing Christians) roll their eyes about the term ‘Christian movies’.

Acting Quality (0 points)

As this film utilizes the typical lineup of David A. R. White, Kevin Downes, Brad Heller, and Lance Zitron, the acting quality is as good as can be expected.  They seem like they are barely trying as their line delivery is rambled, slurred, and generally incoherent.  Emotions are inconsistent and random.  With such a small cast, there’s really nothing good to say here.

Conclusion

As previously mentioned, there is no point in this film except pushing an agenda that is basically propaganda.  This view of the end of the world is ridiculous and indefensible.  It adds nothing to what should be the mission of Christian entertainment and only further detracts from it.  The problem is that movies like this one are not from just some random, fly-by-night movie creators.  The Christiano brothers are regarded as pillars in the field, for some reason.  It won’t be easy to change this image of Christian film, but hopefully it is happening sooner than later.

 

Final Rating: .5 out of 10 points

 

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Second Glance [1992] (Movie Review)

Jesus man!
Jesus man!

Plot Summary

Back in the Dark Ages of Christian film, when David A. R. White was a fresh new face on the scene and when the Christiano brothers competed with Bob Jones University and WorldWide Pictures for control of the market, this movie was borne.  Depicting the iconic struggles of a perfect Christian teenager in an evil fallen high school world, Second Glance has been called ‘the best Christian film ever’ by dubious critics.  This teen feels like he’s not making any difference at all, so he wishes the unthinkable—that he wasn’t a Christian anymore.  He wakes up with this wish come true, so guided by a creepy angel, he is forced to take a second glance at his life.

 

Production Quality (0 points)

In this barely one-hour length extended short film, production errors are aplenty.  Camera work is bad, including a lot of awkward tight shots, and video quality is very poor.  The audio quality is replete with background noises that often drown out dialogue.  Also, a stupid soundtrack blares constantly.  The sets and locations are severely limited, and characters are awkwardly placed in them.  Editing is virtually nonexistent, since they basically cut nothing from this film.  They needed all the wasted time they could get to stretch this glorified skit into an hour-long ‘movie’.  In short, there is nothing positive to highlight here.

Plot and Storyline Quality (0 points)

This movie might as well be called Randy’s Party, because that’s the focal point of the entire plot.  This illustrious event, and that creepy King-James-Version-only angel that keeps following David A. R. White around are the highlights of the film.  In this character-based coming-of-age biopic, the characters are extremely shallow.  The high school kid White plays is extremely perfect and holds his universe together while everyone else is either beholden to his wisdom, neutral, or obviously wicked.  This makes the entire premise of this film absurd and unrealistic.  The dialogue that can be discerned is uninspiring.  There’s really nothing else to say here except that this It’s a Wonderful Life plot concept has been thoroughly worn out at this point.  Next time, please think through your idea before forcing it to happen.

Acting Quality (0 points)

As previously mentioned, easily half the lines are unable to be deciphered, partially because of background noises and partially due to mumbled delivery.  Emotions are awkwardly delivered, as with most things involving David A. R. White.  Behavior is extremely obvious and forced, trying to drive home concepts that should be subtle (gee, that sounds familiar).  As with everything else in this film, there is nothing good to note here.

Conclusion

This is such a half-baked idea that it doesn’t even warrant creation.  Couldn’t they have just dumped this one in the early stages?  But no, Christian movies must be made at all costs!  If you stand in the way, you are a persecutory extremist humanist atheist propaganda machine bent on controlling the minds of children.  The world in this movie is portrayed as very bad and oppressive to Christians (an early David A. R. White concept), and Christians must stand up against it or something.  Second Glance could almost be a prequel to Holyman Undercover.  There is really nothing learned from this work, so unless you just want to watch the infamous final scene (depicted above), don’t waste your time.

 

Final Rating: 0 out of 10 points