The Islands [2019] (Movie Review)

Image result for the islands christian movie

Plot Summary

John Thornton felt called to be a missionary on the remote island of Hawaii in the early 1800s, so he took his wife, Mary, and went with their friend Hiram to the unknown place. Once there, the missionaries met Chiefess Kapiolani and those her were in her tribe. Although the chiefess was familiar with the English language and American customs, many of her people were suspicious of the Caucasian visitors and preferred to practice human sacrifice to their pagan gods. However, one fateful day, as the island’s volcano raged, they all came face to face with what it truly meant to believe in a god.

Production Quality (2 points)

Overall, it’s clear that this production was well-funded with money that was mostly responsibly spent. All the standard elements are up to par, including video quality, audio quality, sets, props, and locations. However, there are a few pesky issues that hold this section back from being perfect, such as some cheesy sound effects that were obviously added on top of the normal audio and a generic soundtrack that never stops playing. Further, the editing leaves something to be desired as there are some abrupt cuts and transitions that cause some scenes to end without natural conclusions. Nonetheless, this production does enough to stay above average.

Plot and Storyline Quality (.5 point)

From the get-go, The Islands‘ plot is nearly crippled by immediate narration that continues throughout the narrative and is sometimes substituted with information dump dialogue, which seems to serve as some type of history lesson. To make matters worse, there are far too many characters for the viewer to keep up with much less for them to have time to be properly developed. Time jumps also complicate matters and make the story seem like just a collection of random scenes strung together as the film goes from one high point to the next and even seems to repeat itself on several occasions. Several interactions between characters feel like they’re on repeat and are simply designed to waste time until the climax. A lot of the conversations and situations seem very contrived just for the sake of the plot-line, and there are no clear or consistent themes that underlay the idea and give it true purpose. Nonetheless, all of these problems aside, Timothy Chey and his team did stumble upon a very intriguing true account that still shines through despite the poor storytelling. This fact is most evident in the famed final sequence that actually demonstrates some potential, which is why this section isn’t zero points. However, it’s too little too late and makes for a disappointing experience.

Acting Quality (1.5 points)

One of The Islands‘ strongest points is its encouraging commitment to assembling a diverse and culturally accurate cast, even if the costuming is a bit cheesy at times. However, this main strength is slightly weakened by the fact that much of the acting is fairly robotic at times, and emotions are sometimes difficult to believe. While it’s good to see the proper foreign language being applied in this setting, there is a lot of fight-acting throughout the film that is poorly executed and coached. Moreover, in the end, there is enough positive in this section to keep in at the average mark.

Conclusion

The historical narrative behind The Islands appears to be a very interesting and potentially powerful story that could and should have received better treatment. It’s one thing to have a good idea, but it’s another to successfully execute it, and it’s definitely a difficult feat to accomplish. Nonetheless, the experience Chey and his team bring to the table is enough to ask more of them, and the amount of potential for engaging concepts and overarching themes that was left on the table in this film was simply unacceptable. However, Chey is still on an upward trend in his career when compared to his earlier days, so perhaps his true success is just around the corner.

Final Rating: 4 out of 10 points

20 Minutes (September 2020)

20 Minutes

Coming to select theaters September 25, 2020

Writer(s): Timothy Chey

Director(s): Timothy Chey

Producer(s): Timothy Chey, S. Marc Clooney, Todd Kim, V. Carol Rosenthal

Starring: Dia Frampton, Michael Camp, Hitomi Miller, Jake Red, Lehi Makisi Falepapalangi, Teuira Shanti Napa, Aaron Braxton
Bernard Aderhold-Lindsey, Mihara India, Dean Testerman, Kaz Maruta, Mia V. Pattison, Ricky Sua’ava. Jordan Marzan, Mark J. Bush

Plot Synopsis: An incoming ballistic missile to Hawaii changes twelve people’s lives when they discover they have 20 minutes to live.

Slamma Jamma (Movie Review)

Plot Summary

Michael Diggs was a college basketball star before he was dragged into a crime and framed for the murder.  After spending six years in prison, he has come back home to find his brother wayward and his mother in poor health.  His former girlfriend has also moved on.  Thus, Michael sets out to make an honest living and try to put his family back together, but he meets a group of street basketball players who convince him to try out for a slam dunk competition.  Michael decides to go for it, especially when a crisis hits home that forces him to rely on his faith to make it through.

 

Production Quality (2 points)

In a shocking break from Timothy Chey’s past production disasters, Slamma Jamma, though less funded that train wrecks like Final: The Rapture or David and Goliath, is on par with industry standards.  Video quality, camera work, and audio quality are all professional.  The soundtrack is effective, though it is sometimes too in-your-face.  Sets, locations, and props are highly realistic.  The only real issue holding this production back is the terrible editing.  There are too many disconnected scenes and sequences that make for a very choppy viewing experience.  Sometimes scenes abruptly and unnecessarily transition to another, even if it seems unfinished.  Needless to say, some editing kinks still need to be worked out, but this is a huge improvement for Chey and makes us wonder how this even happened, given his history.

Plot and Storyline Quality (.5 point)

Slamma Jamma is a typical marketable true story sports plot where all of the characters fit into perfect molds and follow predictable trajectories.  While this is a pedestrian idea for the market, it is an extreme departure for Chey, which suggests a need for funding.  Gone are constant bizarre and manic references to Chey’s wacky worldview as they are replaced with stereotypical inspirational sports constructs.  However, it is an interesting and engaging true story, even though its large amount of content is crammed into a confining runtime that likely does not do the original story justice.  While the characters are somewhat accessible, they are not developed enough as time speeds by.  The whole storyline is too neat and pre-planned, which is completely uncharacteristic of Chey.  But hey, everybody’s gotta start somewhere.

Acting Quality (2 points)

Unlike past psychotic casts (see Suing the Devil), this cast is actually semi-professional and seems to know what they are doing.  Some acting coaching is present, even though there are still a handful of very over-acted sequences.  But on the whole, emotional and line delivery are very respectable.  One thing is for sure: you never know what’s going to happen next with Chey.

Conclusion

When compared to past Chey works, Slamma Jamma is a major improvement, which shows just how bad it was for him at one point.  Now he needs to move away from market predictability and flex those creative muscles he claims to have.  It’s time to do something different, only the right way, and without blowing millions of dollars on north African field trips.  If Chey can harness his creativity responsibility, mute his worldview, and surround himself with a good team as he did in Slamma Jamma, he might become the most surprising film maker yet.

 

Final Rating: 4.5 out of 10 points

 

David and Goliath [2015] (Movie Review)

I AM GOD YOU ARE NOTHING!!!!!!!!

Plot Summary

Travel back to that historical moment when the British Jews in construction hats were hanging around in the desert waiting to fight the eye-shadow-challenged PhilistInes until they saw the guttural wonder known as Goliath and became too afraid to fight.  So they reverted back to standing around talking, wandering around in circles, and riding their horses around camp.  Then along came the pastiest white British man ever—Michelangelo’s David—who decided that he was going to fight the giant action figure across the valley.  After much deliberation, arguing, and talking, the pasty white man ventures forth to fight the giant.  If you made it this far into the film and haven’t been paid off by Timothy Chey, you know how bad it is.

 

Production Quality (-1 points)

With millions of dollars flushed down the toilet for this disaster, you would think that Timothy Chey and crew would be able figure out how to put together a professional production.  But apparently they wasted too much of their funding on the ‘dangerous’ international location to care about how to keep audio quality from constantly screeching and overdriving.  Despite the international endeavor, the sets are terrible and childish.  The soundtrack is very generic and loud, like much of the other audio.  Video quality is low for no reason and camera work is average at best.  A lot of the outside scenes are poorly filmed, with constant extras and horses walking around in front of the camera.  There are also a lot of poor special effects used, along with obvious animation to cover up production shortcuts.  In the end, the world of Timothy Chey defies reality in many ways, especially when he is somehow raising tens of millions of dollars to fund these outright calamities.

Plot and Storyline Quality (0 points)

In a terrible attempt to portray the Biblical story of David and Goliath, this plot is really just about delaying the inevitable.  As the whitest and most British man alive plays David, all the British characters waste time standing around (with horses and people constantly going round and round them) talking and arguing about what they are going to do and debriefing about what’s going to happen next.  It feels like the same conversations repeat over and over again, and the sayings of Goliath most definitely and literally repeat over and over again, like he’s a giant action figure.  Once it finally gets to the so-called climax, it really wasn’t worth waiting for.  Besides this, there are tons of the typical Timothy Chey bizarre elements, such as likening the PhilistInes to a Satanic cult and having Goliath literally drink blood from a cow head.  There is just so much here that cannot even be covered or explained, but needless to say, only watch this film if you don’t pay for it and if you need a good laugh.

Acting Quality (-1 points)

Besides this cast being extremely BRITISH, the costuming is among the worst.  They blew millions of dollars on international travel but couldn’t even put together a decent historical costume that doesn’t look like it was a repurposed construction uniform.  The makeup is also among the worst we have ever witnessed, with coal spilled all over the PhilistInes’ faces.  The cast members therein (especially Goliath) make all kinds of weird guttural sounds and mumbled lines, not to mention the constant yelling and screaming.  Basically, we could just go on and on about the twilight zone of Timothy Chey.

Conclusion

One only has to look to the International Movie Database user reviews of Chey’s films to see just how far his insanity extends.  He clearly has a following of paid reviewers that constantly extol his works in an attempt to ‘correct the record’ (lol) about how the only reason anybody doesn’t like his movies is because they are carnal Christians who stole the movie off of the internet and live in their parents’ basements.  Go ahead and check them out—you’ll see where a good portion of Chey’s budget goes.  But this notwithstanding, what was someone thinking when they enabled this train wreck to happen?  Needless to say, Chey hopefully will not be handed this much funding again any time soon, but stranger things have happened…

 

Final Rating: -2 out of 10 points